But When Did Eren Get A Cat?
by armout-armin
Summary: Armin groaned as he realized what this had come down to. Wincing, he pulled himself up off the ground and took a moment to steady himself. He carefully made his way over to the window and lifted the screen out of the windowsill, then began to pull at the lock. Wow, this was much easier when he was sober. I'm sorry. Not very fluffy or cute or anything but I liked the idea sO.


Ok, so I haven't written anything like this since I was 12 and I was writing shitty Harry Potter fics. SO. Be gentle. Not a lot of fluff, just Armin being dumb and drunk and Jean being a loser. Prompted by some post on tumblr somewhere.

* * *

"_Shit_."

Armin barely caught himself in time as he tripped up the stairs to Eren's apartment. Well, he hoped it was Eren's apartment. This is where he lived, right? Right.

Maybe.

How many beers had he had?

Where did Eren keep his key again? Oh right. The door mat.

He dropped to his hands and knees, afraid that by just bending over he would collapse and hit his head. That would suck. Ha. He'd love to see Eren's face if he came home to an unconscious Armin on his porch. Yeah. That would show him. It's not like Armin had _wanted_ to go to Ymir's dumb party. No, Armin didn't really like parties, and Ymir kind of scared him. Besides, finals were coming up in a week, he should have been studying. Eren could be so persuasive sometimes, though…

Wait. Wasn't he looking for something?

Oh. Right. The key.

Door mat. Check under the door mat.

Armin groped around on the ground, searching for that godforsaken key. He was sweating quite a bit now. Fuck, it's really hot tonight and someone is playing very loud music and_where is the fucking key?_

Armin sighed loudly. There isn't even a door mat. Why would Eren get rid of his door mat? What an idiot. Making him go to dumb parties, convincing him to drink, throwing out his door mat. Sometimes Armin wondered why he put up with the little punk.

No, Armin didn't mean that. He liked Eren a lot. Eren was nice, and he was really good at beating people up when they used to pick on him. Also, he told Armin he could stay at his apartment, since it was much closer than his own and Armin was maybe a little bit tipsy now and probably he wouldn't have made it back to his own place.

Still, it would have been nice if Eren had come back with Armin instead of staying at the party. Especially since _Eren would have a fucking key._

Huh. How many drinks was it? Four? Five? Who knows. Armin had lost count at some point. Right now he just wanted to sleep.

He groaned as he realized what this had come down to. Wincing, Armin pulled himself up off the ground and took a moment to steady himself. He carefully made his way over to the window and lifted the screen out of the windowsill, then began to pull at the lock. Wow, this was much easier when he was sober.

Isn't there a key or something?

Oh wait. Already covered that.

He continued to fumble clumsily with the latch before there was finally a satisfying _click_, and the window popped open. Armin pulled the window outwards. Huh, he remembered it moving a lot more smoothly before.

Grunting, the small boy gripped the edge of the window and hoisted himself up. Armin resented his height as he flailed his legs in an attempt to propel himself upwards and through the window. After about a minute of kicking and general discoordination, Armin managed to pull himself through the window.

And he tumbled out the other side.

Whatever the surface was that he landed on, it was not clean. No, it was very cluttered. He felt something sharp on his back as he tried to remember the layout of Eren's apartment.

Ok, what's by the window?

He thought for a moment as the pointy thing continued to dig into his back. Oh, yeah. The kitchen. Okay, so he was probably on the countertop. He glanced around the dimly lit room. Yep, he was definitely sprawled out across the kitchen counter. With a loud groan and considerable effort, he attempted to sit up. Instead, he managed to roll off the counter and land on the linoleum floor with a rather loud _thud_. The fork he had been laying on clattered as it fell next to him, along with other kitchenware that happened to be collateral in this whole ordeal.

What a mess. Eren really needed to start doing his dishes.

Eren also really needed to replace his door mat. He needed to keep a key _somewhere, _for fuck's sake. So inconsiderate of him to make Armin break in like this. Armin vaguely wondered when Eren would get home, and where he would prefer Armin to sleep, and when did he get that godawful couch over there in the living room? Gross.

His eyelids started to feel heavy. He felt something nudge his hand and he turned his head to see a small cat inspecting his arm. _When did Eren get a cat?_ was the last thought that cross his inebriated mind as he drifted off into sleep curled up on the checkered floor of the kitchen.

^v^v^

Jean almost hadn't noticed the sounds outside his apartment.

He had his music on as loud as it would go, and he was trying not to think too hard about the fact that he was home alone on yet another Friday night with nothing to do and no one to call. He perked up when he heard something rattling. Had he left Titan outside? No, he remembered letting the cat in before locking up. Surely he was imagining it, right? He pulled his headphones out and listened carefully. The traffic of the city outside and the raging music of his weird neighbors made it difficult to hear, but it definitely sounded like someone was messing with his door...or maybe his window? Fuck. Maybe they'd go away if he stayed in his room. It's not like he had anything worth stealing, right?

Jean glanced around his room, looking for something with which he could defend himself just in case. His eyes landed on the lightsaber in the corner of his room. _I guess that'll have to do_, he thought reluctantly. He closed his laptop, and as he started to crawl across the bed towards his weapon, he heard a loud thud from his kitchen.

_Oh shit._

Maybe the cat had knocked a lamp over. Maybe Jaeger was fucking with him. That was probably it, right? It was just his luck that he would end up one floor below the guy. Eren was always fucking with Jean. He probably knew how to unlock the window through experience with his own apartment. He seemed like the kind of idiot to get himself locked out a lot.

Jean gritted his teeth and gripped his red lightsaber. Was this really his only option? No baseball bat or anything? He sighed, steeled himself, and slowly, quietly, turned the handle of his door. He peeked around the corner, searching for any indication of an intruder or his obnoxious neighbor. He didn't see any sign of life other than Titan sitting on the table and mewling incessantly, and for a moment he began to think he had imagined it, but then he saw the open window. Jean never opened that window, so what was going on? He glanced down.

From behind the bar that separated his living room from the kitchen, a foot was sticking out.

_What the fuck._

Jean tiptoed over cautiously, lightsaber ready to strike at any moment. He lowered his weapon, however, when he got to the kitchen.

His jaw dropped.

_Oh my god._

There, on Jean's own apartment floor, was Armin fucking Arlert, surrounded by Jean's dishes, passed out and bedraggled but somehow cute as ever.

Jean kind of knew Armin. He saw him with Jaeger a lot, which was a shame really, because Armin seemed like a pretty cool guy. And he was cute. Like, _really_ cute. Like, Jean didn't think he'd ever seen anyone with such pretty eyes and nice hair that he could _definitely_ imagine running his hands through and-

Jean mentally berated himself._ Not really the time for this, Kirschstein. There's a dude passed out on your floor._ Right. Jean sighed, set down the lightsaber, then bent down and nudged the sleeping figure. Armin swatted lethargically at Jean's hand, mumbled something in his sleep, then started snoring. Jean glanced around, thinking. He could call Eren, but... it wasn't every day that a cute boy ended up in your apartment, conscious or not. Plus Jaeger was a dick, and Jean didn't feel up to dealing with him at this ungodly hour.

Jean sighed and slipped one arm under Armin's back and the other under his legs. He hoisted his surprisingly light body and looked around the room. Well, he could put him on the couch… Jean considered this for a moment, but then decided to put the sleeping boy on his own bed. He was a gentleman, thank you very much, and he would give this rumpled, adorable boy a comfortable bed. He plopped Armin down on the mattress, then settled himself on the couch. The other benefit of this arrangement was that it would probably prevent Armin from sneaking out in the morning, as Armin would have to make it past Jean to leave. Jean expected a fully detailed explanation of how Armin Arlert ended up unconscious and smelling strongly of booze on his floor at one in the goddamn morning.

^v^v^

Mostly what he felt was a dull throbbing in his head that worsened by the second. Armin chanced a peek through squinted eyes, but he did not understand what he was seeing. He reached down and grabbed the thin sheet that was over his body and pulled it above his head. He felt tiny paws walking across his legs. He could hear footsteps.

_Where the hell am I?_

There was a faint knocking sound, then a door opened.

"Oh n - Titan!" The paws disappeared. "Uh...you up?"

Armin groaned quietly, then slowly, painfully opened his eyes. Much to his relief, the room was pretty dark.

"Okay…I'll take that as a yes."

_Who is that?_

Armin squinted to focus on the figure standing over him as he tried to remember last night's events.

_Oh shit._

He remembered waving down a cab, stumbling up too many flights of stairs, and then...oh no, did he break into someone's house?

No. No, he went to Eren's house…right?

His eyes finally began to adjust, and he realized that the person was not Eren, that he was too tall to be Eren, but he looked familiar. He blinked a few times, looked at the messy undercut, and then he recognized the man.

"You don't have a door mat."

^v^v^

Jean blinked a few times.

"Oh. Um. No, I guess I don't." Wow, okay. This kid was really out of it.

Armin shook his head and tried to sit up.

"Oh god. Ok no that's not good," he muttered. The boy looked around, and Jean had to stifle a laugh at his disgruntled expression and the blond rat's nest atop his head. Fuck, how could a hangover be so adorable?

"Nice bedhead," Jean muttered.

Armin didn't reply, just stared at Jean for a few more moments. Then he spoke again.

"How did I get here?"

"Fuck if I know. I just found you drooling on yourself on my kitchen floor."

Armin groaned and put his head in his hands. "Do you have a bathroom?" he mumbled.

"Uh, yeah." Jean leaned back and pointed to a door in the other room.

Armin nodded vaguely, swung his feet off the bed and, after taking a moment to steady himself, shot past Jean and into the bathroom. Jean winced as he listened to the retching sounds.

After a couple minutes, Armin stumbled out, his face bright red and refusing to make eye contact with Jean.

"Um," Armin began nervously, "I'm really sorry about all of this, I really hope I didn't inconvenience you in any way I can't believe this happened I'm so sorry and so embarrassed I really thought this was Eren's apartment and I hope I didn't break your window or anything oh gosh I'm so sorry and I should probably leave now so thanks for your hospitality."

Jean stared at Armin, impressed by how much the boy was able to say in one breath. "Uh, y-yeah, no problem," Jean responded. "But do you want some coffee or breakfast or something?"

^v^v^

Armin winced. "Uh, no thanks…" Honestly, he just wanted to get out of here. He wasn't ungrateful, but he didn't think he'd been this embarrassed since he had tried to kiss Mikasa in second grade and had ended up with a black eye instead. He thought for a moment. "Do you have any painkillers?"

Jean nodded. "Just a sec," he said as he crossed the room and began to root around in his kitchen drawers. He pulled out a bottle of ibuprofen and handed it to Armin with a glass of water. Armin muttered a "thanks" and took three of the pills.

"Are you going to tell me why I found you on my floor at one am?"

He shuffled his feet nervously, still avoiding eye contact with the taller boy. "Uh, well… I was at a party with Eren, but I didn't really want to be there." _I don't want to be here, either._"I live pretty far away so Eren said I could crash at his place since it was closer than mine and I was, as you probably noticed, kind of drunk." He could feel the blood rushing to his face. "I guess I got the wrong apartment."

Jean snorted. "Yeah, I guess so. At least you ended up here and not at my weird-ass neighbors' place."

"Heh, yeah…" Armin laughed nervously. "Okay, well… I should probably go. Thanks again, though. And I really am sorry."

Jean nodded. "Okay, yeah. No problem." Armin thought he almost sounded disappointed, but that wouldn't make sense. Who would want some hungover nearly-stranger in their house at...he glanced at the clock.

"Oh, _shit_!"

Jean jumped. "What? what is it?" he asked frantically, but Armin was already halfway to the door. It was 9:52 and he couldn't believe what a fucking mess this all was.

"Oh shit shit _shit_. I have a class in 8 minutes!" He jerked the door open and the sunlight nearly blinded him. His head was still pounding. He turned around to look at Jean for the first time that morning. He noted vaguely that Jean's hair was mussed up and he somehow looked surprisingly attractive in those sweatpants and...oh shit. He wasn't wearing a shirt. Oh_man,_ Jean had some very nice abs. Armin kicked himself._ Not now, dumbass. You're late!_ "Th-thanks again," he stuttered before darting out the door and slamming it behind him. He paused for a moment on the other side. He hadn't ever noticed how handsome Jean really was. _Oh well. _Armin sighed, then took off down the stairs.

^v^v^

Jean stood in his kitchen for a couple minutes, looking around. He felt slightly disappointed, but what had he been expecting? Of course Armin wouldn't want to stick around some dude's shitty apartment while nursing a hangover. He sighed and turned towards the counter to start a pot of coffee. He rooted around in the sink for a mug as he thought, _How is it even possible to look so cute and so disheveled at once? Maybe I could catch him next time he comes by to see Ere-_

Suddenly, his thoughts were interrupted and he nearly dropped his mug as music began to play loudly.

_I found you, Ms. New Booty-_

Jean cursed loudly as he searched around for the source. His eyes stopped on a blue flip phone vibrating on the ground, and he reached for it just as the buzzing stopped. He looked at the screen just in time to see Eren's name flicker off.

Jean blinked. Armin had left his phone. Armin still had a flip phone. That was simultaneously incredibly dorky and weirdly cute. He flipped it open and squinted at the tiny glowing screen.

_17 missed calls_

_17 new voicemails_

_41 new text messages_

The phone was locked, but Jean was willing to bet that the majority of the messages were from Eren or Mikasa. He grinned stupidly. He guessed he probably wouldn't have to wait too long to see Armin again, after all. He was still staring at the phone when there was a knock at his door.

^v^v^

The door swung open and Armin grimaced up at Jean, who _still_ was not wearing a shirt. Not that Armin was about to complain about that, of all things.

"You left your phone."

Armin nodded, still panting from sprinting down then back up five flights of stairs. Jean handed him the phone and Armin checked the time. 10:03. Fuck.

Jean watched him. "What class is it?"

Armin looked up. "Calculus."

Jean nodded. He cocked his head, as if thinking. "Well, you're probably not going to learn much with a hangover as bad as yours," he began. "You're already late, I just put on a pot of coffee, and you look like shit." Armin snorted and Jean grinned cheekily. "I can pour you a mug, and I won't even make you climb in through the window to come in."

The phone started buzzing, his ringtone for Eren blasting loudly. Armin blushed furiously and silenced the phone. He ran a hand through his messy hair. How was it even possible to embarrass himself in front of a hot guy this many times in one morning? He closed his eyes, laughed quietly, then looked back at Jean, who was chuckling at the ringtone. Armin sighed tiredly. "I would love to."

* * *

Sorry, I don't drink or anything so I don't really have a lot of first-had experience, but I've been around a lot of drunk people so I did my best. Also this got longer than I'd expected. Oops.

I appreciate comments, reviews, criticism, etc etc you know how this works.


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